How to Simulate Navy Life at Home
Every so often, throw your cat into the swimming pool, shout "Man overboard, starboard side!", run into the kitchen and sweep all the pots/pans/dishes off the counter onto the floor, then yell at your wife for not having the place "Stowed for sea".
Ever wondered what "pecker checker" means?
"Me and Willy were lollygagging by the scuttlebutt after being aloft to boy butter up the antennas and were just perched on a bollard eyeballing a couple of bilge rats and flangeheads using crescent hammers to pack..."